I was talking with a colleague at work and he told me he heard this saying that people will follow fear but they will die for love. We talked about the simplicity and power in that statement, and that statement has captivated my attention and focus in relation to leading others. The more interesting piece is that my colleague told me that it was a Navy SEAL that made the statement. This statement was made by an elite warrior. The Navy SEALS are some of the toughest, most aggressive, and most violent warriors on this planet and this guy is talking about the power of love in relationship to leadership. I needed to learn more!
I am fortunate to have grown up with a friend that went on to serve as a Navy SEAL for a number of years. His name is Shane and I often talk to him about leadership and life. His insight is incredible and it pushes me to be a better person. I sent him a simple text with the statement and asked if this was a SEAL’ism. He responded that yes it was in fact a SEAL quote. I asked him to explain it to me in more detail and how it is used to inspire and lead our special forces teams. The discussion has resonated with me in the simplicity of its power. I want to share the discussion because there is tremendous power and value for those that are assuming the risk and responsibility of leadership.
The power of the statement that people will follow fear but die for love relies on the power of why. Simon Sinek has talked at length about the power of why and how it can move people and organizations to new heights. Shane told me that fear persuades people versus love which inspires people. The motivational power of persuasion versus inspiration differs greatly in the power of influence and the duration of the commitment. The power of persuasion is short-lived and may elicit compliance for a limited time but it will eventually fade and will no longer motivate. Inspiration is much more sustainable motivation. An individual that is inspired is going to stay committed even when things get rough, that commitment will be unwavering because there is a connection to something more important than themself. The commitment moves from simply following to having an incredible emotional connection to a cause. This is incredibly powerful and should be enough to inspire you to lead with love rather than fear.
That inspiration, or love, then begins to formulate a why. Why should I do this? Should I do this because I am scared and being persuaded to do this? The alternative to that is why should I do this? I should do this because I care so greatly about the cause that there is nothing that I would not do because I love this cause. When your why becomes that powerful there is no what or how that you will not be willing to engage with, and there is no what or how that is too difficult to achieve. I was told years ago that if the why is strong enough the facts don’t matter. The level of commitment and inspiration will overcome all facts or reasons why failure is possible. With a why that is founded on love, there is nothing that can not be overcome and there is no challenge that is too large.
The relationship between love and fear comes up often in the Bible. John 4:18 states There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. Fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. This verse resonates with me in the fact that leaders that lead from a fear lens often layer in perceived love and talk about how I am hard on them but they know that I love them. The verse states that there is no fear in love and perfect love casts out fear. There is no fear in love! There can not be any reliance on fear as a motivator if you are truly leading through a lens of love.
As a leader, you are overcome with choices in a day, and the choices you make impact the lives of others. When you make a choice on how to handle an event that choice then becomes an event for the person that you are leading. That choice then becomes what that person goes home and tells their significant other about work and their boss. Imagine the difference in the discussion of the person being led at home if they feel that the decision you made as a leader was rooted in love. If there is an understanding that the why they are doing something is driven by love for them and the benefit of the organization. How will the motivation and commitment change?
Leadership is hard. Being successful is hard and it requires an unwavering commitment to small steps and small choices that eventually lead to large results. When pursuing success there are endless roadblocks, challenges, and times when you come off course. There are constant challenges to your commitment. The same is true when leading others. People that are following will constantly reexamine why I am doing this or why am I committed to this organization. The why or the motivation will waver. In those moments of questionable commitment, the why is questioned. If that why is strong enough the facts will not matter. There will be no how or what that is too large or scary to tackle. Every challenge becomes an opportunity. Understanding that people will follow fear but they will die for love should make it easy to decide which leader you want to be in life. Love your team. Love your cause. Love your core values. Most importantly love each other. Leading with love is the magic bullet that can inspire others to achieve what was thought to be unattainable. Be the leader your people deserve and examine how to lead with love first rather than the easier alternative of leading through fear.